And ouch. I was hurt. I knew it wasn’t personal, I knew I had other guides in my court. I knew that the purpose of her working with me was in order for her to evolve. But still. That smarts. I had had a very deep and long relationship with the entity I refer to as “J.” And now. She has evolved to a place where she is no longer working directly with me.

So what do I do now? Nothing. I’ve continued to read for people, although it has been different. I have relied more on working directly with the spirits around the people themselves and with less focus on my own guides. I feel safe and protected still. I am still competent and connected. But. It is a bit lonely. I miss J.

Why do I bring this up? Because surprise and uncertainty is part of evolution. And chapters of evolution do come to a close to make way for new ones. And hey! I graduated. So that is good. And that helps with the letting go. And the just appreciating what I’ve been given and what I experienced.

And now I just stay open for the new lessons. And they are coming thick and fast.

Are you undergoing evolution? Care to share about it in the comments?

They come wanting contact but they may also want names, dates, details – want me to relay something that no-one else would know besides themselves and that person.

And the fact is that sometimes that information does get passed on to me. And sometimes it does not. And if clients have a need for reassurance… all I can do is continue to offer them what I am getting from the connection with spirit. I let them know that I have no reason to doubt this spirit is who it says it is, especially if there is no negativity or mischievous behavior associated with it. However, I find that this type of question can leave me floundering a bit, and can even somewhat pull me out of trance. When asked “what is the person’s favorite flower,” for example, I might tense up an ‘only’ get the first letter and general sound instead of the whole word, and so end up thinking ‘poppy’ instead of ‘peony.’ It is such a subtle art and sometimes it isn’t as clear as ringing someone up on the cell phone!

In cases where the client is startled by information that is contradictory to what they have been told by someone else, or doesn’t seem like their memory of the person, I have to work hard to make sure I am clear about what the message is and perhaps some back and forth communication is necessary in order to clarify. For example if a spirit seems chaotic, and it has only been a short while since they have passed, then this state of confusion can be unsettling for the family to hear about. Especially if the person was always very calm in life. So in some cases I need to take time to help both sides calm down and work on accepting this new reality. Spirits can shift and change and evolve before our eyes in exactly the same way that people do. And sometimes my work becomes helping to support them through that process.

When a message seems very general to me (“Your grandmother loves you, calls you her little sweet one, and wants you to be blissfully happy”) I often can’t imagine what anyone would get from them. Except often the person can feel the energy shift in the room. And the particular words used or cadence of voice may also be the key prompting some to say “the choice of words was what struck me.”

Occasionally messages are SO specific that I am afraid to pass them on because the doubt creeps in, “what if I am wrongly interpreting this, what if it’s not accurate?” If I, regardless of the doubt, put the message out there for people – I often later end up scratching my head in wonder at the way it all works. Offering a detail such as “your husband says he wants you to move to the river and leave this house” – I am often greeted with exclamations of knowing such as: “Yes, I know, he was always pestering me to move to the river, but please tell him I still can’t afford that!”

I believe that talking to spirit is an inborn human ability. That some people have a greater natural ability to do it, just like some people can sing with perfect pitch. I have been told I have the gift of speaking with the dead. I enjoy teaching people who come to me saying they can sense there is more out there than meets the eye. I am not trying to convince anyone to believe. I am simply doing what I do.

“It is time for people to find a way to be honest with themselves There are a  lot of people wearing masks of friendship, masks of happiness: it is time to take off the masks and find a way to work together on this process, on this planet. A lot of people are not even interested in honesty, they are trying to avoid fears from the past and fears in the future and are unable to simply be naked with themselves in this moment, now.

We are all cells in a large body and each cell that carries the message of positivity creates a potential for it to flow through the whole being. This is the secret of true, deep healing.

Hearts need to open. People need to let the real them out and to create celebrations – to celebrate moments of time spent with each other.

This channelled message is from an entity or group of entities that I refer to as “R”. They are a high, non-earthbound spirit that has never been human but who works to help humans spiritually evolve. It has been several years since my first contact with R, yet the feeling of R’s presence continues to uplift me.

When R’s energy comes down into my body it feels like I’m being filled with helium from the top down. My head feels as if it might float away. My whole body feels las if it is vibrating and pulsing with energy and I get the message to allow every cell of my body to absorb this energy. I often feel full of awe and there is a sense of the complete “rightness” of everything. It is at once simple and profound. It seems as if I could just walk around all day like that and it is only when I “come back to earth” that I realize how different and transformative R’s energy has been.

I found R through meditating on high spirits and with the help of my main guide, “Jay” It was quite challenging for me to bring R down at first so I relied on Jay extensively in the beginning. I was urged by my guides to take up running in order to build up my physical strength and therefore my ability to handle the current of the energy. I did not really want to start running, so I initially ignored that advice, but the messages were persistent. Once I accepted the idea it began to become easier for me to channel R and other guides as I increased my physical activity through running.

Occasionally the message from my guide is different from how I would approach things. Sometimes I am challenged by having to impart something I don’t truly feel in myself, but my guide is adamant about. This can make me uncomfortable as the “speaker.” In the middle paragraph of R’s message above, the one about deep healing for the planet and for humanity, that is the kind of message that I often feel embarrassed to deliver, because for whatever reason, I do not share R’s optimism that humanity as a whole can be healed. There is a lot of talk of healing humanity and healing the planet, and I wonder if the damage isn’t already too grave to ‘save the earth’ and if humanity isn’t simply doing what it has always done and always will do. HOWEVER – these lessons are for everyone receiving them, including me. I think of people who have generously broadcast love and support into my life, and the huge difference that has made. And hearing a message like R’s now and then gives me the boost I need to not simply surrender to hopelessness, because even if we can’t save the whole planet, we can perhaps still take part in bettering the lives of those we love and touch.

[Incidentally, I invited both of my guides to speak in this blog, but Jay declined, stating that she prefers to speak to one person at a time.]

Thanks for reading my first blog post. Future posts will address further the issue of messages from spirits which create discomfort or potential embarrassment. Ick!